How to be our own friend!

Being a friend to ourselves can be difficult when suffering with mental health as we are always the last person on the list. Mental health plays a lot on our self-esteem and the first thing we do is forget about number one.

We treat ourselves as if we are not in need of any kindness, we say thing to ourselves which we wouldn’t dream of saying someone else… so why do we do this to ourselves when going through tough time? So I am going to share a few things which will help you become your own best friend… after all if you can’t look after yourself who else will?


This has to be the number one for me, as if you aren’t looking after yourself then you can’t look after yourself. Having a shower or bath can make you feel energised and happy. It’s amazing what a bit of hot water can do! You need to be aware when your self care starts to slip and if this is something you need to improve on it is worth checking out the founder of Blurt Foundations book Self Care Project. This is worth reading as it helps to make you take note of those important steps in your mental health.


We all make mistakes, at the end of the day we are human. So don’t beat yourself up if you make a mistake, remember that we all make a mistake from time to time and you just need to forgive yourself and move on. If we didn’t make mistakes how would be learn and move forward. Forgiveness is powerful tool and is definitely something we could all do with using more often.

Celebrate Achievements

This something I have touched on within other blog posts as celebrating achievements makes you feel better about those goals you have hit or something you have overcome. We congratulate our friends for getting through a big day at work or even driving to somewhere which makes them feel anxious! It doesn’t matter how big or little it is we still celebrate with them. This goes to everyone, we congratulate those close to us… so why not congratulate ourselves?

Living with mental health is hard enough and every day we are achieving something and this should for sure be the one thing we do more of.

If you want to start to mark big achievements treat yourself, you could buy yourself a new notebook or treat yourself to those trainers. You don’t even have to spend a penny it could be something as little as having a nice hot bath instead of a shower.

Look after yourself

If one of our friends or family has had a bad day we offer them comfort so when we have had a bad day we should give ourselves comfort the next day or on the day. We need to be kind to ourselves and make sure we aren’t beating ourselves up for having a bad day. Mental health is something which will guarantee a bad day from time to time. So this is normal and we need to provide comfort.

Don’t be so hard on yourself!

Get Help

Imagine a friend was going through what you was, you would be telling them to seek out help and get the support they need. So why are you any different?

Don’t be afraid or ashamed of asking for help! This is important for your wellbeing and you need to be looking after yourself to ensure that you can get the recovery you need. It might not be something which changes over night but it can definitely make a difference.

Have some ‘me’ time!

We all go to see our friends and make them feel as though are welcome. So why not spend sometime on our own and allow the thoughts to just come and go without feeling guilty.

This is definitely something I struggle with, but you could sit on your own and watch your favourite film or do something you love such as knitting. It doesn’t have to be anything big it is all about having that time for yourself to allow you to relax and be with oneself.

So the main key to becoming our best friend is to show ourselves kindness as mental health is like living with a bully 24/7! Don’t let the bully get its way and have the time to become your own best friend!