Going on Holiday

Going on holiday during recovery? To most people I would say “Go ahead, it will do you the world of good.” but in the back of my mind I keep thinking am I going to be ok? What if I am going to be a boring sod! I just never know how I am going to be from day to day. If it was only a few hours on a flight I think I would be fine, but knowing I am going to be 15 hours away it is not having the same feeling. If any of you are wondering I am jetting off to Thailand to see the elephants and will be on my way when you will be reading this post!

With sorting everything out and not long to go at this very moment the the anxiety has started to kick in with me thinking about every little thing, a few things I am worry about are;

  • Do I have all the documents I need?
  • Do I have all the clothes I need?
  • Is my travel card going to work?
  • Am I going to get lost?
  • Will I be safe?
  • Am I going to be able to cope on a 15 hour flight?
  • Will they let me take my medication on the flight?
  • Am I going to be able to find where to park?
  • Will I be able to drive to Manchester and not have a panic attack behind the wheel.

The list does go on.. but I do not want to bore you. I am sure some of you can relate to the worries I am having above. It is never easy going on holiday during your recovery and when dealing with mental illness alone. I have only just come out of crisis point and I don’t know if I am pushing my look.  I have a long way to go yet. I am not even back at work full time yet so the thought of being away from my dad for nearly 2 weeks is killing me at the moment.. I think he will be getting a phone call every day with the way I am feeling. I am such a home bird and of course a daddies girl.

There is so much to worry about when it comes to going on holiday for a standard person never mind those who are suffering with mental illness and I am struggling like hell at the moment. I am just trying to think about how relaxing it will be when I get there and just the thought of feeding the elephants is what is keeping me going! Sometimes the anxiety isn’t too bad as I am just thinking of the amazing opportunities I will get, the things I will be able to see…. I will be sharing photos when I come back of course! But it’s not long until I just think about the drive to the airport, it’s a long way and I am never sure of how it is going to go. Sometimes I’m fine driving no issues what so ever but then other times I can be having an anxiety attack behind the wheel… which is never a good thing!

I just need some time in a beautiful place to clear my head!

So back to the actual going on holiday when suffering with mental illness…. I think it is something which is very important and it is going to give me the time I need to just think and not have the day to day stresses, don’t get me wrong I am sure I will still find lots of things to start worrying about! There will be so many amazing things which you can do and see which are slightly out of your comfort zone but you never know what will happen and what you will overcome while your on holiday. As your slightly in a different frame of mind. Not sure that will make sense to everyone though.

But most of all it gives me time to relax and allow me to be really be in touch with some of my thoughts. I am always 1000 miles per hour and not that holiday will help but it might just allow a little bit more breathing space! I think this is something which people should try as it allows you to switch off from the main world, you don’t have to go on holiday for this you can go to a spa, have a bath and put your phone on airplane mode… this is my favourite and a lot of my friends have started doing this aswell. Switching off from the world from time to time can be a good thing as it allows us to process things and really be in touch with everything we are going through. Holidays are brilliant for this as you are able to see other people going through hand times getting on with what they have, it can let us reflect on things we have been beating ourselves up about, you will more than likely realise that actually it’s not as bad as we think!

I hope this has provided some inspiration to those thinking about going on holiday while suffering or going through the recovery stages. You can always do what you put your mind to!

Have you done anything which has ever made you reflect and feel truly relaxed?